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by
bud simpson |
February
15, 2006 |
In My Life
A Valentine card to my Liverpool, sans sugar,
sans gall
I was wading through paperwork at the studio this morning. With
the sound system shuffling randomly through a long list of favorite
tracks in the background, I waxed nostalgic at songs that I
grew up listening to and even sang along with some. One song
stopped me and made me listen. It was recorded in October of
1965 and released on The Beatle’s “Rubber Soul”
album – John Lennon’s ode to his past, “In
My Life.” As I understand it, Lennon wrote this song as
a tribute to his old neighborhood in Liverpool, from his house
on Menlove Avenue down to the Mersey Docks. Lennon’s Liverpool
was a hard-scrabble working-class neighborhood, much the same
as my old Northeast…
There are places I’ll remember, All my life,
though some have changed, Some forever, not for better, Some
have gone and some remain. All these places had their moments,
With lovers and friends I still can recall, Some are dead and
some are living, In my life I’ve loved them all.
I drove through Northeast – Belmont to St. John, down
Hardesty to the Avenue, back up to Benton and the Concourse,
Gladstone Boulevard, Sunrise Drive, Van Brunt, North Quincy,
Budd Park, Ninth, 11th and 12th streets, and back to work downtown.
Circles within circles looking for something familiar.
But of all these friends and lovers, There is no
one compared with you, And these memories lose their meaning,
When I think of love as something new.
Lennon left his Liverpool behind when the Beatles’ fame
and fortune made him a citizen of the world and ultimately Manhattan.
I left Northeast behind as I grew away from my parents and set
out to prove my own worth. It was a tall order to be sure, and
one I wasn’t sure I was up to. Looking back now, I realize
that my vision of my old Northeast was myopic. It was a hard
and imperfect life, made bearable by the lack of necessity that
comes with being young and dependent. All I had to do was try
and get along, do my best not to flunk out of school and try
not to embarrass my folks more than necessary. Nostalgia is
a kind of selective blindness that gets worse over time.
I’m in a different place now. Not so much a matter of
place in space and time, but a knowing realization that I’ve
done so much more than I ever thought possible, most after I
left the comfort of youth. There are those who would say that
John Lennon’s best years were before he became political,
before he married Yoko Ono, before “Give Peace A Chance.”
I don’t think so. I’d like to think that Lennon
was growing and celebrating life up to the very end. I’d
like to think I’m just getting started.
Though I know I’ll never lose affection For
people and things that went before…
Northeast, I loved and respected you, maybe even feared you
at times. Your no-nonsense reality gave me a foundation for
life that I might never had understood had I been born into
privilege in another place. So much has happened since then
that you have to know that I am no longer nostalgic when I think
about my time there. It would be dishonest to say that I owe
everything I am to you. You are my Liverpool. I don’t
live in The Dakota, and I’ll never have a fraction of
John Lennon’s talent or fame, but I understand his fondness
at looking back, not in bittersweet longing, but in celebration
of a life lived well. To me, “In My Life” was a
goodbye to times past and a triumph over nostalgia. Lennon could
see how much was to be lived and loved in the here and now.
…I know I’ll often stop and think about
them. In my life I love you more.
Every street in Northeast has an indelible memory for me to
return to – people, good times, not-so good times, loves
and heartbreaks, joy and pain. My ode to you, Northeast, celebrates
how I found what I was looking for, not there and then, but
here and now. Love songs are not about being in love. They’re
about love lost, longing for impossible love and the perfect
possibilities of “might have been.” I wouldn’t
trade my now 2006 for my then 1968 for any promise of youth
or second chances. I’ll always remember you and what you
once were to me, but my heart is my own now.
“In My Life” by John Lennon, Paul McCartney; ©1965
Northern Songs. Editorial or educational use of lyrics under
the “Fair Use” sections of U.S. Copyright Law.
Bud
Simpson is a member of the infamous Northeast High School Class
of 1968 and a professional photographer. Learn more at www.budzilla.com.
